Tuesday, 18 October 2016

of late

- two talks that appears in my side bar of you tube which have been stirring some thoughts in me today. about being honest to yourself. Talk 1. Talk 2

- freaked out and barely slept because of watching stranger things on netflix. but I am a sucker for something with good actors, script, soundtrack, cinematographer and winona ryder who is on top form.

- had the best time at westonburt arboretum last week. in awe of nature. 

mariah nielson instagram 

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

art fairs

last friday I attended Frieze art fair. I was scouting for galleries, but I couldn't see myself being part of any of them there. Not because of the caliber of work, but because my work just doesn't fit. I am not worried, as I found the work very samey. However Edmund de Waal stood out for me, and if I had the money I would love a piece of his works. There is something spiritual to be said to his work. You know that feeling you get when you hold something which is full of memories, I get that from his work. 
Across the park was Frieze masters, totally different feel and atmosphere. Everything was more paired back, the feel was less anxious. And the works on display was just beautiful. I particularly like the ancient artworks they had, pieces of roman temples, Egyptian bowls. I am a huge fan of ancient art. It solidifies my belief that art is more than just the name and the price tag, its something built in us. Humans have always wanted to create art, it's such a natural process. And art was around before art committees and the need to display something from decoration purposes. 

Head of a Buddha, the London gallery Tokyo

of late

- Blue jay film, haven't seen it yet, but it has that wonderful believe in love feel to it. 

- I am in huge admiration of Alicia keys for not wearing makeup anymore. Think this is a brilliant movement, to highlight the pressures of women having to look a certain way, to be seen as beautiful.

- documentary done by vogue on health in LA, I want to do the two hour dance trance, to release blocks. 

- a film on climate change, done with leonardo Diacaprio and National Geographic. 

- Donna Hays new book, is all I want to eat at the moment. 

- probably the best thing in life ever to be written. A true testement to that true love exists. And how powerful words can be.  


Monday, 3 October 2016


The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.
Conan O'Brien

I have been mulling over this post all week. And most likely for a long time before that. I have always struggled to write whats in my head down on paper. I guess that is why I paint because what i am feeling I express through my art. I deleted the last two posts as they were a distraction from what needed to be said. This post is about copying, something that has agitated me all my life, since I was aware of what it was. However this will be where I draw the line. It has plagued me for so long, zaps my energy and paralyses my work.

I will write this post in true honesty, laying it bare. As to air it, understand it, and then let it go. I would also like it to help someone down the line, who may be struggling with the same issue.

So apparently I am copying, so I was told last week. My flowers aren’t original and I copy another artist’s work. This fellow artist, I have now lost a job and been blocked from a gallery who approached me and then said they couldn’t take me on because of this artist had contacted them. It has been tough.
Years of painting, over 1000 flowers painted just in the last year, hours of time put in to perfecting my skill and craft. Hundreds of exhibitions visited and books read on art, to be told you are not the artist you think you are.
Two words to be said to that, fuck off. Never in my right mind would I copy this artist work, let alone another artist. At times I thought they had copied me.
I will see it from their point of view, I can see similarities as we both draw flowers on paper in one color. But guess who else fucking did, Matisse, Elsworth Kelly, Louise Bourgeois, Georgia O’keefe, Monet, Hockney, Van Gough, Tracey Emin, Picasso, John Ruskin, Hokusai, Asian art in general  ancient art, and way back in those bloody caves there are naïve plants drawn on walls in black.
Drawing flowers isn’t treading new ground, for any artist.
I paint flowers as I adore nature. Nature healed me when I was so ill with a brain injury, I would have to be assisted to walk into the garden and I would sit there with my plants, doing a little weeding, planting some seeds watching things grow, feeling connected to mother nature. It is these moments that go into my work. It is your life stories, places you have been, things that have spoken to you which as an artist shapes what you paint and how you paint it.

My last point is, that I disagree with the statement that nothing is original anymore. Why keep going, if this is true. Through out time we have periods where we dress a certain way, our houses look a certain way, that is what makes up our history. And without originality from creative thinkers we wouldn’t have the future. So originality exists in every era, no year is the same it just evolves slowly. And if we slowed down to notice this, we wouldn’t be so pessimistic, that being unique is dead.

Conclusion being copying only exists when you are unable to think for yourself.
I know my mind, and I dream big, I think long and hard about things, I notice the world, my mind is full of thoughts, and I am sensitive which makes me feel everything. I am not the same as you and you are not the same as me, and that is said to anyone and everyone.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
ee. Cummings.

Katsushika, Hokusai, 1760-1849: Grasses

Friday, 30 September 2016

of Late

- free and native post great weekly run downs of what she is looking at. I really like these frequency posts she puts up. My room is practically like a spa at the moment with this music. 

- I have always believed the forest speaks, now there is scientific proof! fascinating Ted Talks

- this Matisse painting, caught my eye for the colours and there is something I am not sure of in her expression. 

- Bought a box full of Palo Santo wood. It is my favourite smell at the moment. Palo Santo raises our vibration, uplifts the spirit and brings good luck. Find out more via Ashleey Neese.

- my favourite cafe in Bath, Society Cafe have teased us with a photo of their Oxford outpost serving Matcha Latte. Haven't had one since San Fransisco last year! for a none coffee drinker this is very exciting to me. 

- saw this film get praised on the BBC film programme. And it deserves it! felt so good to laugh while watching a film. Good comedies have just dropped off the radar for me at the moment. Defiantly recommend the hunt for the wilder people. 

anish kappor?

Sunday, 25 September 2016

of late

- my week suddenly became very busy preparing for the Daylesford Harvest festival, where I was painting on site then pinning them up on plywood beams I had bought, to create an installation of plants painted in harvest time. I really get into my displays I come up with, I feel its part of the process to creating a big work. 

- dr james fox presented another brilliant documentary. This time about contemporary art. I love his face when he talks to Martin Creed, just can't hide his emotions that he isn't convinced by him. 

- It is roughly a 2 hour drive to Daylesford from where I live. It was such an early start which I don't mind. While driving I saw that it suddenly has become Autumn. I always feel there is just one day each season where you finally notice everything starting to change. It was just magic. 

- Listening to radio 2 and heard this interview with Derren Brown. Never paid attention to his work before but his new book has defiantly spiked my interest. 
From the interview in Huffington post:
Brown sees happiness as the absence of worry and stress. If we can release ourselves from anxiety, we can achieve a state of tranquility that the philosophers Pyrrho and Epicurus called Ataraxia, he argues. “It isn’t really a thing in itself, it’s more about when you take all of the frustrations and the anxieties away. And then, they’re quite easy to pin down and deal with. What you’re left with is this sort of tranquil calm state, and though I don’t think it’s the answer to everything, I think it’s a much more helpful model of how to be happy.”It’s also about accepting that you can’t have it all. “The ancient idea was to limit your desires,” he explains, “because if you limit your desires to what you have and what’s available to you, or what’s freely available, you value those things more and you’ll value your happiness much more easily.”Consequently, there is a chapter in Happy about lowering your expectations. “If you’re angry, it’s because your expectations were too high,” Brown reasons. “Rather than trying to control everything through self-belief, you don’t try and control the thoughts you can’t.”

Yves Klein, Yves Peintures, 1954

Sunday, 18 September 2016

cutting the intake

I get to Sunday each week and think what do i want to do? Which isn't to do with work, as all my hobbies are to do with work. Even going for walks easily becomes a process of scavenging for things to draw, or views to come back to and draw. Following your passion is just doing the things you love everyday but making it into a business. However now that it is a fully fledged business, registered sole trader, income to make from what was the things I would escape from, is now work. I am finding I need new activities to take on which will help me de zone. I have started swimming again, when I was at primary school to the beginning of secondary school I was a fantastic swimmer, being prepped to be on the junior olympic team, however I was so dyslexic the extra english lessons took over. The love of the water has never stopped, even if my swimming style has decreased to more of a slow paddle. Like with yoga when you are in it you forget everything else that may be going on. It is a great task to listen to your own voice. 
Speaking of your own voice, I feel I have to address my social media. I came off Facebook over half a decade ago now, and never looked back. Part of my hermit nature to not be on there and the distaste for people to know everything you are up to without even asking, its just laziness and lacks true friendship; just pick up the phone. Same goes for my instagram I get that itch to shut it down, for the same reasons. However that would be a foolish move, because so much of what I do and income comes through being on there and promoting what I do. 
I attended a yoga workshop on Friday, the teacher said yoga is about making the moves work for you and so goes for everything else in this world. She spoke about how our phones dictate our lives but really it should be the other way round make it work for you. 
My friend who owns a shop unfollowed everyone on instagram, friends, family business contacts etc. I thought this was a risky move for business, but she explained she didn't want other voices disrupting her inner voice. And that is what has happened to me, I am so overwhelmed by everything. It isn't a case of not looking at your feed, I have to think where do I want to look? A cull is in order to alter my intake. Get back to what it is that sparks joy (marie kondo instagram clean) and basically it is the one that gives me facts ,places, restaurants, those are the accounts I engage with. 
I'll post some of these up in my 'of late' posts. 

Elizabeth Blackadder - Japanese Garden